120 Good Roasts To Serve the Ultimate Burn

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If you’ve ever wanted to leave someone speechless with just a few words, mastering Good Roasts is essential. Whether you’re bantering with friends or engaging in online debates, knowing the right roast can elevate your wit and leave a lasting impression. Below is a curated list of 120 Good Roasts, each with explanations, so you know exactly when and how to use them.

1-20: The Classic Zingers

1. “You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.” A sarcastic compliment that highlights the impact of someone’s absence.
2. “You have something on your chin… no, the third one down.” Perfect for poking fun at someone who thinks they’re flawless.
3. “I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.” Highlights ignorance in a humorous way.
4. “You have something in common with clouds. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.” A subtle dig about their presence being unbearable.
5. “You look like a before picture.” Simple, short, and cuts deep in the funniest way.
6. “You bring everyone together… just so they can laugh at you.” A slightly cruel, very effective line.
7. “Your secrets are safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.” Great for exposing someone’s self-importance.
8. “I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you.” Useful when the truth hurts.
9. “Your brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in, and it never comes out.” Perfect for someone forgetful or scatterbrained.
10. “You bring life to a room… like a power outage brings life to candles.” Witty and poetic.
11. “You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a brighter day.” A classic metaphor roast.
12. “You have something on your face… oh wait, it’s your whole personality.” Burns without being too direct.
13. “You’re proof that even evolution takes breaks.” A scientific twist to a simple insult.
14. “You bring people together… to show them what not to be.” Great for subtle social burns.
15. “You have something in common with a software bug. Everyone notices you, but no one knows why.” Nerdy, clever, and effective.
16. “You bring the party down… just by being in it.” Simple and relatable.
17. “Your secrets are safe with me because I don’t care enough to remember them.” A lazy, yet cutting insult.
18. “You have something on your face… and it’s called arrogance.” Straightforward and satisfying.
19. “You’re like a cloud on a sunny day. Nobody asked for you.” Perfect for social gatherings.
20. “You have the perfect face… for radio.” Short, snappy, and painfully funny.

21-40: Work and Social Roasts

21. “You’re like a software update. Whenever you show up, everyone groans.” Perfect for coworkers.
22. “Your work ethic is inspiring… if laziness was a competition.” Witty office burn.
23. “You have something in common with Wi-Fi. You’re invisible until you mess up.” Clever modern metaphor.
24. “You bring clarity… about what not to do.” Motivates indirectly by pointing out flaws.
25. “You’re like a phone with no battery. Useless when it matters most.” Modern and relatable.
26. “Your productivity is impressive… at avoiding work.” Simple, fun, and effective.
27. “You have the charisma of a dial tone.” Burns social awkwardness.
28. “You bring attention to yourself… mostly because everyone wonders why.” Highlights awkward self-importance.
29. “Your sense of style is… brave.” Safe, polite, but still sharp.
30. “You’re like a pop-up ad. Annoying, unavoidable, and nobody likes you.” Internet humor meets classic roast.
31. “You’re great at multitasking. You can waste everyone’s time in multiple ways.” Clever work insult.
32. “Your meetings are like horror movies. Everyone survives, but they leave traumatized.” Funny and painfully accurate.
33. “You have something in common with a broken pencil. Pointless.” Classic and simple.
34. “You bring energy… like a deflated balloon.” Short, effective, and visual.
35. “You’re the human version of a participation trophy.” Witty and modern.
36. “Your work is impressive… if the goal was mediocrity.” Burns effort while being clever.
37. “You have something in common with elevator music. Forgettable and slightly irritating.” Subtle and effective.
38. “You bring ideas to the table… none of them good.” Direct, concise, and relatable.
39. “You’re the kind of person who could trip over a wireless signal.” Funny, nerdy, and visual.
40. “You have charm… like a brick.” Short and stinging.

41-60: Relationship and Friendship Roasts

41. “You’re like a cloud in a blue sky. Mostly ignored until a storm forms.” Witty and metaphorical.
42. “You bring out the worst… in everyone, including yourself.” Sharp but playful.
43. “You have something in common with a mosquito. Small, annoying, and easy to swat away.” Fun visual imagery.
44. “Your flirting is like a broken compass. Always points the wrong way.” Subtle relationship roast.
45. “You bring trust issues everywhere you go.” Short, punchy, and effective.
46. “You’re proof that even bad decisions can survive.” Classic friendship jab.
47. “You have personality… if bland was a personality.” Short, stinging, and effective.
48. “You bring excitement… like watching paint dry.” Visual and relatable.
49. “Your love life is like a software update. Promised improvements, delivered disappointment.” Modern and clever.
50. “You have the loyalty of a cat… when it’s convenient.” Funny, subtle, and relatable.
51. “You bring laughter… mostly at your own expense.” Kind of cruel, but funny.
52. “You’re like a password. Hard to remember and easily forgotten.” Tech-related roast.
53. “You have something in common with spam emails. Everyone ignores you eventually.” Perfect for social media burns.
54. “You bring drama… and everyone else brings snacks.” Humorous exaggeration.
55. “You’re like a Wi-Fi signal. Weak, inconsistent, and unreliable.” Another tech-inspired burn.
56. “You have charm… if sarcasm counts as charm.” Short, relatable, and witty.
57. “You bring ideas… mostly bad ones.” Simple, concise, and relatable.
58. “You’re like a subscription nobody asked for.” Funny, modern, and effective.
59. “You have a face for memes.” Quick, visual, and sharp.
60. “You bring energy… mostly awkward energy.” Fun, playful, and descriptive.

61-80: Social Media and Modern Life Roasts

61. “You’re the human equivalent of an unread notification.” Perfect for online burns.
62. “You bring opinions… nobody asked for.” Short, simple, and cutting.
63. “You have something in common with buffering videos. Annoying and slow.” Modern humor.
64. “You’re like a low battery warning. Nobody pays attention until it’s too late.” Visual and relatable.
65. “You bring attention… mostly unwanted attention.” Simple, effective social burn.
66. “You have the personality of a captcha.” Clever, funny, and tech-related.
67. “You’re like pop-up ads. You keep appearing no matter what we do.” Classic internet roast.
68. “You bring content… but it’s mostly trash.” Direct and simple.
69. “You have something in common with slow internet. Frustrating for everyone around.” Modern and relatable.
70. “You’re like a comment section. Loud, annoying, and full of nonsense.” Perfect for online interactions.
71. “You bring drama to DMs.” Short, modern, and sharp.
72. “You have charisma… only in the way spam has charisma.” Funny and tech-related.
73. “You’re the human equivalent of a dead meme.” Short, visual, and witty.
74. “You bring notifications… mostly disappointment.” Modern, playful burn.
75. “You have the energy of a battery at 1%.” Fun metaphor for laziness or awkwardness.
76. “You’re like a trending topic. Briefly noticed, then forgotten.” Relatable and humorous.
77. “You bring attention… mostly from algorithms.” Clever and social media–savvy.
78. “You have the appeal of a 404 page.” Short, witty, and modern.
79. “You’re like a comment with zero likes. Ignored by everyone.” Perfect for online-savvy burns.
80. “You bring ideas… mostly recycled ones.” Subtle, clever, and effective.

81-100: Personality and Character Roasts

81. “You’re like decaf coffee. All the appearance, none of the effect.” Great for someone trying hard but failing.
82. “You bring wisdom… mostly to show everyone what not to do.” Witty and ironic.
83. “You have something in common with an empty wallet. Useless and disappointing.” Sharp financial metaphor.
84. “You’re proof that bad ideas can live forever.” Short, cutting, and effective.
85. “You bring confidence… mostly misplaced confidence.” Funny, relatable, and playful.
86. “You have personality… if monotony counts as personality.” Sarcastic and clever.
87. “You’re like a speed bump. Annoying, and everyone wants to avoid you.” Visual and playful.
88. “You bring attention… mostly because people are curious about your failures.” Funny and ironic.
89. “You have the energy of a sloth on a Monday morning.” Relatable and visual.
90. “You’re like a puzzle with missing pieces. Confusing and frustrating.” A metaphorical personality jab.
91. “You bring charm… only in theory.” Short, witty, and cutting.
92. “You have something in common with a broken clock. Right only twice a day.” Clever and humorous.
93. “You’re proof that some mistakes survive evolution.” Sharp and ironic.
94. “You bring inspiration… if laziness is inspiring.” Playful, sarcastic burn.
95. “You have charisma… the kind that scares small children.” Funny and visual.
96. “You’re like a cloud of mosquitoes. Small, annoying, and persistent.” Great for someone irritating.
97. “You bring ideas… mostly bad ones, with confidence.” Humorous exaggeration.
98. “You have the presence of a shadow. Only noticed when it’s dark.” Witty and metaphorical.
99. “You’re like a GPS that always recalculates. Confusing everyone around.” Modern, visual, and clever.
100. “You bring enthusiasm… mostly for doing nothing.” Short, simple, and effective.

101-120: The Ultimate Burns

101. “You’re like an expired coupon. Once useful, now irrelevant.” Perfect for someone outdated or out of touch.
102. “You bring attention… mostly because people feel sorry for you.” Subtle but stinging.
103. “You have something in common with a photocopier. Produces lots of nonsense.” Office-friendly, funny roast.
104. “You’re proof that even bad ideas can have longevity.” Ironic and humorous.
105. “You bring drama… and a lack of common sense.” Playful yet cutting.
106. “You have charisma… like a wet sponge.” Short, visual, and humorous.
107. “You’re like a software bug. Always present, nobody likes you, and impossible to fix.” Nerdy and effective.
108. “You bring energy… mostly in awkward bursts.” Fun, playful, and descriptive.
109. “You have the memory of a goldfish. Adorable, but useless in conversations.” Funny, relatable, and visual.
110. “You’re like a fire alarm. Loud, annoying, and rarely necessary.” Great social burn.
111. “You bring inspiration… if failing repeatedly counts as inspiring.” Humorous and sarcastic.
112. “You have something in common with decaf soda. Appears exciting but leaves everyone disappointed.” Modern, clever, and relatable.
113. “You’re like a broken umbrella. Promises protection, delivers nothing.” Visual, funny, and metaphorical.
114. “You bring ideas… mostly outdated and irrelevant ones.” Short, clear, and effective.
115. “You have the charm of a traffic cone. Useful only for blocking progress.” Clever and visual.
116. “You’re like a missing puzzle piece. Everyone notices, but nobody wants you.” Simple, witty, and metaphorical.
117. “You bring attention… mostly from people who pity you.” Subtle, playful, and ironic.
118. “You have personality… like a flat soda.” Short, simple, and humorous.
119. “You’re like autocorrect. Tries to help, mostly fails, and frustrates everyone.” Modern, clever, and relatable.
120. “You bring everything… mostly disappointment.” A perfect final burn to end the list with impact.

With these 120 Good Roasts, you now have a toolkit for nearly any social situation. From playful friends to annoying coworkers, from online debates to real-life banter, these roasts combine humor, cleverness, and a touch of sting. Use them wisely, time them perfectly, and you’ll always leave a lasting impression.

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